Fading away

There's nothing that can be

what we are

what we were.

The petals are falling off

the roses beside our stone

and they'll plant no more.

Everywhere I turn

a necropolis of memories

burns even the fire station.

Of course I hate you

how couldn't I,

I unceasingly refrain to heal.

I want to absolve you 

entirely for the anger

weighs more than the longing.

But weak as the thread 

may be that draws me close

the lion's pride is enduring

beyond what hope I have

of your phone call.

You betrayed me

beyond what any other

could fathom to achieve.

And yet...it's the song 

of my name running cross

your lips I cry for.

I want to be done,

to have what was

or could be.

Sadly, 

when typhlotic no more

and struck with the 

corpulent despondency

of which I suffer now,

you'll find me not

still waiting for your train,

but in the proximity of one

I trow truly loves me. 

The chain is on my door.

I hope the honey
stings you
through your sweet lips.

I pray the corset fits
to steal your breath
from within your chest.

I beg of life
to crack like thunder
my face with each kiss.

I wish for justices
that punish every dream
see me touch another.

I owe you nothing
of kindness for you
there is no more.

My own perfect world.

What happened to the clouds

I watched through the van,

strawberries tumbling up 

my straw on a blanket.

What ever came of 

putting me in a box

instead of on a shelf?

Why do I feel colder now

than in a Ponderosa freezer

when I of all people

despise the heat?

Did I not say that this was

not what I wanted to happen?

Were you listening to me then?

Are you now?

Is your Tom-Tom telling you

to take a different route

to avoid a hazardous zone?

I'm not good.

I get scared.

I panic.

I don't know

much.

Perhaps someday I'll be better-

good enough for you-

for everyone.

Maybe

in my own

perfect world.

Homemade Lemon Pie

I love lemon
but only when I know
it's something sour
I'm getting into.
When I want an apple
and instead the bitterness
tricks me and worms itself
into my mouth
I am not amused.

For far too long
I was the lemon's fool-
begging for sweetness
and getting only puckered.
I am ashamed
and disgusted
not with the thing that is
being only what it knows
to be
but for how I allowed myself
to carry on
foolishly
like a daily beaten dog.

I was not your mistake,
lemon,
you were mine.
I tried everything;
baking you,
drinking you,
crushing you,
but my kitchen
was never home to you.

So now
all there's left to do
is be done with you.

I sit in my shade
enjoying my nectarine,
how sweet it is.

Me too

The man in my speakers
said it's been nearly ten years
since you were
kidnapped by angels and wisked
to heaven before playing
"I miss you".

Has it really been that long,
Aaliyah?
I don't wanna let you know
either.

I understand their grief,
those you left.
I too feel robbed
of things departed-
lurking in the shadows-
once having claimed it
was all they had.

What have I now
to hold onto of yours?
Thank God I don't know.
It would kill me to know
how often you watch
and read my thoughts
as freely as I once
was able to read yours
when I looked at you
and said

"Me too..."

The fisherman's riddle

I sit here
on the shore
wishing I had
a boat
so that I could
go anywhere
and fish the shore.

Hold on

When I met her the day I fell in love,
her eyes were like two silver spoons.
Then came the great and awful flood
she left me standing there marooned.
You know you're cold as ice inside
when there's nothing left to make you cry.
I guess that I'll go.

I miss your evil little grin
and that silly giggle that you wore.
I don't even know where to begin
how I wish you would still call me yours.
I quit gambling years 10 years past
But I'd bet the farm I'll finish last.
Last.
I better just go.

Drive on in and call me rude
say everything I did was cruel.
Say anything at all to me
and end this bitter agony.
There's nothing worse in this whole world
than to be in love without your girl.
Girl...
Please don't go.

When we made love I felt her shake
her body was that perfect wave.
No matter what life has in store
she'll always have me at my core.
I'd run to her in seconds flat
if she would only run on back.
.....................
........