No older than 13

It's been said
better to have loved
and lost
than never to have
loved at all,
but what is it
to have loved
without the opportunity?
To not wipe away tears,
beg forgiveness,
lay beside such beauty
you smile through sleep,
all while knowing
only two ticking hands
keep you away
from true romance.

Want to touch your arm
yell tag you're it
and run away,
kiss you-
over and over-
while I rinse the shampoo
and the water runs
down your face,
tell you everything
I'm so scared to.

Think it is better-
blueberry season
is coming soon
with the pollen,
and you can never
like blueberries
too much.

Flying

I have no fear
for potential words,
what might come,
what might not,
of freaking out.
You hold me
so safely
I can't worry
I'll be dropped.
Not sure when
I fell
or how far,
but I'm certain
of the why
and how long
I intend to
remain there.

Hope I'm not waking you up

This is when it gets hard
when the lion is stung
one too many times
from playing with bees.
The pain is so pleasureful
he can't resist another kiss
and another
until the eight or nine
extend beyond the fear of ten.

Tell me you will see me...
I will
I have to.
Always call me all those
sweet things in one
that sound so perfectly
terrifyingly beautiful-
and that tell me what
you refuse to say.

Kiss me goodnight
and sting me again
one more time.

Twice nice

We were so different
you and I
and I remember
wishing you the worst-
it devastates me now
to think of.

So funny how life
can rebound
and then fall
leaving much worse-
crushing everyone
who loves you.

I'm still angry inside.
I hate that you
took so long
to come around
to seem human
even lovable.

It's not your lack
of tears that hurts
it's the realness of hers-
unimaginable for me
who hides from such
emotional addiction
for this very thing.

I will try to learn
whatever I can
from this,
you,
to smile when
I think of yours.

On your burgundy pillow

You laugh when I ask you
not to point me to the roof.
It's a place that is hard
for me to comeback from
that keeps me away
from seeing into your heart.

You would tie me to this
kitchen chair if you could
but I already am bound
by each fingertip-
blue or not.

And as much as I know
you hate it
I can't apologize
because I find no fault
in wanting to see you
when I can't.

I know you understand.
Between all the laughing
the water is calmer
when you smile back
while I peak in
to catch a glimpse.

I feel you doubt less,
still struggling a bit,
but wanting more
to believe this blueberry
is not rotten as the others
you have tasted before.

Maybe the next time
I ask you that question
you will not say nie,
nor yes,
not even maybe,
you'll just show me...

Hold it

There's a window for you
beside my bed
where you can catch
birds all day
searching for a moment
to keep forever.
There's a window for me
on the other side
to catch you
searching for forever.

Hold it right there-
hate is a very bad word
for that voice
when we were so
close to the birds
and the bees.

Wish you would stay
tell me you're going
to bed
but not going away
and closing my window
beside you.

Swings and things

I remember when playtime
booked me too solid
to need vacation.
Times were less timely,
even the lions
played with mittens.

They say we grow wise
yet we pine for our dolls
and first kisses in swings
while searching for a knife
to return our stolen
brown-bag-lunch smiles.

Perhaps youth is a lie
that fools us into hope
that we are all equal
and that all is fair
in milk and cookies.

Do you even know me?
Am I nothing more
than your receptacle
to beat on-
blow up inside-
disappoint (again).

I barely know myself
anymore...